Friday, October 5, 2007

Oh the pressure of making the "right" decision....


When I was at dinner with some friends of mine last Wednesday night, we talked at great length about the choices we are making for our children and the sacrifices that go along with these choices. For example, I chose for Ben to play t-ball so that he could have a second try at a team sport...and therefore I am at the baseball field - some 20 miles from our house - at least 3 times a week. My choice....my sacrifice. All worth it because I believe Ben is truly getting something great out of his experience.




One of the ladies with us at dinner has chosen to put her kids in a school that is academically awesome...but there is no Bus option and so she has become a human taxi this fall to assure her kids this exceptional educational experience that she has chosen for them! Her choice....her sacrifice.




And the list could go on and on...suffice it to say that we have all made choices. And of course we have... because our oldest kids are 5 and unable to make any life altering decisions on their own accord. So the question that we sit around and ask ourselves...and each other is this: Did we make the "right" decisions? Is speech therapy for Will the "right" decision? Is taking Hayley to the next level of gymnastics the "right" decision? Is a pull up the "right" decision?.....etc. etc. etc.....We ran all of our "top of the mind" scenarios by each other and hoped that we could come to a place where we were confident that we had or will make the "right" decisions for our kids - the love of our lives! We don't mind the sacrifice...heck...we are moms...i think we thrive on sacrifice...but did we or are we making, the RIGHT decisions.




So much pressure....yet in the end there is no guarantee that ANYTHING we do is RIGHT or WRONG? No guarantee AT ALL. So I offer this to all of my mom friends and well...just to anyone that is looking for answers to questions that don't have just 1? To questions that have a hundred different possible scenarios....and/or to problems that "no" answer seems to fit just perfect....




I believe that there is no such thing as right or wrong answers once you have entered "adult-hood". In Kindergarten....you are taught to sit up straight....not talk out of turn...and do you best work on your papers. So...if you slouch, scream out an answer and draw transformers on your homework...you have made the "wrong" choice. Now that is as clear cut as it comes. If you hit your brother you are wrong....if you hug your brother you are right. So simple when you are a kid.




But at an adult place in life...we have already chosen the RIGHT path. We learned what that path looked like as early as age 1 and taking that path has become who we are. We know right and wrong and so the choice to be a good person and to do right by people is now made without any conscious thought process - we just do it...and as as result...we now we live in the area of grey.




Our choices are not about right and/or wrong...they are about what path to choose. All paths having possible great outcomes...and possible tragedy...and every other possibility in the middle. No path is right and no path is wrong...just different and with different possible outcomes. WE can't know at the beginning of any journey what lies beyond our vision! Even though we are mom's...we are not superwoman! We can't know!




So fellow mom's....do this for me....for one day...or even a week - NO PRESSURE TO BE RIGHT! Focus only on making good decisions and make them with a full heart! It is the best we can do!! And that is GREAT! And absolutely no beating on yourselves for making GOOD decisions that end in a less than perfect way! Rather focus on the good that could have possibly come from it and be grateful that you had the guts to make the choice in the first place!




No write or wrong guys...just good, educated, full of love, decisions....for the people that make our world complete!!! OH....and why that photo at the top? Who knows...I was feeling inspired today and that photos is inspiring to me! :) Have a super day!






1 comment:

Erica said...

Renee, you are one of the most "love filled" people I know. Your boys and baby girl can rest in the knowledge that all of your decisions for them are anchored in love and devotion!