Tuesday, November 6, 2007

10 Rules that I NEVER thought I would have to make...

I had to make a new rule last night in the bathroom while the kids were crazy like a bunch of nutty boys can be! And while I sat last night at the computer after they went to bed I though....Wow...as a mom...we sure do have to come up with some weird rules. Had someone told me 6 years ago that I would have said even one of the following things - let alone all of them - I would have though they were drunk!!! :) Anyway - here are some noteworthy rules that we have in the Mongold house. Please please...if you have some good ones that you want to share...put them in the comment section! This is just a small sampling the comedy that we seem to live on a daily basis!!

1.) Absolutely no peeing together in the same toilet at the same time. You don't concentrate...and someone always gets wet! YUCK!

2.) No straws up the nose when drinking yogurt drinks! It is not funny to make bubbles with your nose! JUST NOT FUNNY! And Will always seems to suck some back up through the straw it gets really ugly there!

3.) No pushing your brothers at light speed in a cozy coop car into the curb! You can push an empty car into the curb as hard as you like...but it HAS to be EMPTY!

4.) Under no circumstances are Ben or Will allowed to shut Kyle in a closet, cover him with a blanket, or sit on him! It makes him scream in a way that my skin crawls and I want to resign from mother hood!

5.) The dog is not a horse...she is not to be mounted using the coffee table as a ladder...and ridden until you fall off. I know Cali looks happy when you do it...but it can't be fun for her!

6.) When wiping your bum after poo poo - you are not to look at or examine the toilet paper. Just throw it away. And in addition...we must ALWAYS ALWAYS wipe twice...just to be sure we got it all! ....if I had a nickel for every time I say "Did you wipe twice...you know the rule!!??"

7.) If you fight with your brother - you WILL have to SIT AND HOLD HANDS for 10 min! If you complain about holding hands...I raise it to 20! (and I stick to it!?)

8.) No jumping out of the stroller while mommy is running! I can't read your mind...and I don't know when it is going to happen....and I will run over you and leave you if you don't follow this rule!

9.) If your mother has to go "number two" while we are all together in a public rest room it is illegal - with punishment of death - to discuss it with each other...or with other store patrons... while we are still shopping! No one want to know about that and it IS NOT FUNNY!

10.) The next person to grab their brothers "pee pee" while naked - bringing them to their knees in pain - will be sent to live with another family! I mean...you have one...so you know it hurts...why the heck did I have to make this rule!?



Tara said...

hey its tara, here is the website i was talking about where i made the extra summer cash.......... the website is here

Ansleykg said...

renee, i am in tears laughing... i wish i could have heard what your kids said to the fellow store patrons about your bathroom visit! too funny! maybe we'll come and play in the street tomorrow...my kids are missing you guys.

LoveBKW said...

oh please come to visit!!! :) And I'll tell ya - my kids tell all. WE miss you guys!!!

and Thank you Tara...I'm going to check it out!!!!

Natalie said...

Hi Renee!! I signed up, just so I could comment!! This was by far THE funniest blog you have written!! I was also crying I was laughing so hard!!! The whole time I was reading your rules, I was picturing your boys doing the things that made you come up with the rules in the first place!!!!! Thanks for making my day!!!!

Erica said...

Renee, this one is a KEEPER! I unfortunately experienced the "poop in public" one just today at the airport! Yeah, Benjamin was like an anchorman in that stall giving a play by play of my nervous wreck stomach! I know...too much information...but you should have been one of the 14 people in the bathroom with us! FUNNY STUFF! Thanks for a great laugh and another and another!

oofie goofie said...

I only wish I could poop in public :)

LoveBKW said...

You could if you had the bacterial I had! ha ha ha!!!!

dandsratz said...

Renee, this is THE FUNNIEST BLOG I HAVE EVER READ!!!! I have TEARS rolling down my face!!!! I need to print this off!! I'm making Dave come back to read this one with me!!!! THE BEST BLOG EVER!!!! Oh how I love the Mongolds even more now!!! Ha!!

althea said...

You should have a 3 1/2 yr old niece and a 2 yr old nephew!
My sis has had to tell her daughter in public: "Next time we're in a public bathroom, you DO NOT grab your brother's peepee".
That immediately made me think 'is she allowed to in their own bathroom then?'!