Wednesday, November 28, 2007


In the past few months with the increasing time lines of our adoption process from China - I have struggled with knowing what exactly I am to do with the facts that are in front of me. I have had so many different scenarios run through my brain that I would not even try and convey them in a blog! That is called a novel and blogs are just supposed to be shorter than that!

Our wants to have our children close together...will the process ever really come through for us? ...should we try other avenues? What avenues are available to us...There is no right or wrong answer to any of my questions. On that note - I guess it is not often that our decisions in this adult world are as simple as right or wrong. But this time...the number of choices just seems to out weight those present in other decisions I have had to make in my life. And the consequences of my decision will affect the people that I love the most! I am positive that a perfect path will unveil and I continue my soul searching so that I can choose best for the family that I am so blessed to have!

No child could ever be a bad decision - no matter matter where from - so that thought keeps me grounded and happy! We will adopt a child. I don't feel sorry for myself because of this delay in our adoption...I just want to make sure that this delay is not my calling to reach a different direction. Anyway - the purpose to all this gut spilling is because, our adoption agency sent a letter to all of the people who are enduring this long wait for their children. I thought a portion of it was worth sharing with my friends and family! I found it very helpful in my thought process and the message is not specific to adoption. Rather it is an inspiring way to look at life and I hope that someone else is able to find some inspiration in this beautiful story like I did:

...In conclusion, we want to share a story we heard recently from our pastor: Florence May Chadwick was an American swimmer who in 1950 was the first woman ever to swim the English Channel both ways. Two years later, Florence decided to take up the challenge to swim the 26 miles between Catalina Island and the California coastline. Hour after hour Florence swam, but after 15 hours, a thick, heavy fog set in. Florence began to doubt her ability and became discouraged. She struggled to swim for one more hour. Emotionally exhausted, she asked to be pulled out of the chilly water. As the fog gave way, Florence saw that she had stopped swimming just one mile from the California shoreline, her destination! Florence explained later that she quit because she could no longer see the coastline - there was too much fog. She had lost sight of her goal.

Two months later, Florence got back in the water to try again. This time was different. She swam from Catalina Island to the California shore in a straight path for 26 miles. The same thick fog set in, but this time she made it! She succeeded because, as she shared, she kept a mental image of the shoreline while she swam. She never allowed herself to lose the image of her goal.

Yes, as we have sadly predicted, some adoptive families will say "enough is enough" and decide to close their adoption files in the coming year. But if your heart is set on China adoption and if you believe that your child will come from China, then we strongly encourage you to keep the beautiful image of your child in your mind and heart, hang in there, and wait it out. When the fog of the unknown, frustration, and pain is finally lifted, you will be united with the child of your dreams.


dandsratz said...

Renee, I so admire you for your strength and endurance through this process!! And I SOO know, that once that precious little one is placed in your arms, you will say "It WAS all worth the wait!!" And until then, we will be praying for your continued focus, and encouragement through the process! We love you!

Dianne said...
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Dianne said...

Hang in there! Just know you have a lot of people in your matter what. We love you.

Erica said...

I wish the answers were easy to come by...but we both know the ones that really mean something take work and time and prayer and frustration, etc. etc. We love you over here and will be a sounding board, a shoulder to cry on, or a face to smile with joy...whatever you need. We love you and love whatever child you decide to call your own!