Josh fell asleep standing up around 7:00pm and did a full 12 hours! And I went to bed at like 10pm and got MORE than enough sleep! So we feel super today! And ...I had the hotel do some laundry for me. Not cheap....but I had gone long enough without clean pants!! So I am not only rested...but I have clean clothes on!! Whoo hooo!!
Each day with Josh shows improvement in his attachment. He is in LOVE with his mommy. He always wants to be touching my face and holding my fingers and ALWAYS wants to be in my arms! I know that this can't last with me giving him every second of my attention, but for now...he needs to feel loved - beyond loved...so I will do anything I can to assure him that I - this new family - is forever! WE will work on the rest when we get home!
Josh is shy. I think some of this is because of what he has been through over the past few days, but the look in his eyes tells me that he is, all in all, just a shy kid! Once he gets to like someone though...watch out! Today, after a while of sitting and talking with a dad and his son from our group, Josh sat up and smiled at him and said - BYE BYE!!! VERY loud! It was so funny - because he is so quiet that no one expects to hear from him! ha ha hah a. So it tells me that he will warm up to people...but on his terms....no one elses!!
He is a typical 1 year old - throwing everything on the floor and making messes all over. And LOVING IT! He truly does not seem all that behind to me? Maybe I will see it more later, but for now...I have good feelings this his adjustment period will be shorter than maybe I had anticipated! I am grateful for that - and not for my sake...for his! When you see how scared they are on that first day and the utter look of dispare in their eyes as they cry and cry...you just want them to know what you have known for so long - the love that we have for them!!!
Every day I think about coming home to my family! I miss them so much that I can't talk about it much or I will start crying all over again and I am trying to stay positive and be rational. A good nights sleep helped! But it does not take away the pain I feel when I am not with my babies! Half over....and just one week till I can have everyone together!
I will forever love that day! December 25th 2008!! No matter what kind of a day it is, rain or shine, crying or sleeping, sad or happy....it will be a day I remember for all of time!! !:) Come on time...get a move on!!
I am lonely, yet happy, and I am doing well here!! This trip - alone - is totally do-able. I wish I had my family here...but they can't be and I am ok! Really ok! Physically, this is not as hard as I expected. We are given plenty of time to eat and sleep and I always try to make good food and drink choices, and so far so good. I feel super! And josh is feeling good too.
Emotionally this may be a bit harder than I anticipated, but not because of Josh! Truly - he is so dear and so easy to be with. You all are going to just love him! Truly - a blessing of a boy!!! I just have a perma lump in my throat and at any point I could cry? Does not even have to be a good reason? And for those of you that know me well....this is NOT ME!?!?! Huh? Shelli - are you cracking up at your whimpy friend?!?! ha ha ha ha Oh well!!
Enjoy the pics and I will keep posting them each day. Little man Josh sleeps so well, and I am stuck here in the room while he naps. I know he would nap on the go in the carrier...but I love seeing him snuggled up on a bed...a soft bed with down pillows! He just keeps feeling them and rolling in them. I truly think he understands the luxury that is around him! Heck....it is luxury for mommy too! hee hee
I love and miss each of you so very much! Thank you again for your words, your love and your prayers! It means more than you can ever know!
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