Wednesday, January 14, 2009

creative parenting becomes a must

After three weeks of being home, many new things have emerged that are both special and challenging. I am sure anyone that brings home a new child - especially a toddler - can relate to the situation!

Josh and Kyle: He is in love with his brothers. He wants to be with them ALL The time. Kyle is the one that takes 110% interest in Josh. He sits outside his door at nap time and waits for the first peep to run in and hoist Josh out of his crib. He kisses him, hugs him, plays with him and never seems to lose interest! Josh will call for Kyle from his crib - not mommy -

During a basketball practice last week, Josh caught a glimpse of Kyle running down the court and before I could stop him...he was running in the middle of 12 - 5 year olds...dodging balls and arms and legs....screaming for his brother. But the time I swooped Josh up....he was crying in frustration because he then knew that his brother was off limits for a while!! :)

Will: Not sure he loves Josh? At first I tried to give Will more mommy attention to combat the new brother jealousy...but I soon realized, that is was not mommy he was feeling abandoned by - it was Kyle? Kyle used to treat Will with the same zealous that he now treats Josh. And I needed to address this. So the creative parenting began.

Allowing Will to take long baths with JUST Kyle. Allowing Kyle and Will to do some special things that they felt privileged to do - like sleep in a tent on a school night - or splash water all over the bathroom. Amazing how this chilled Will out a bit and he started accepting Josh much more readily!

Last night I had not seen Will and Josh in a while so I head up stairs to see what is going on. The door is locked? And there is silence in the bedroom. So I knock...nicely at first and then with a firm pound! And nothing? Ok...I admit I start to panic? What has Will done with josh? Are they ok. Will is not always super fond of Josh, so I get scared! I yell for Steve to bring a Credit card upstairs to unlock the door. And I am kind of yelling at this point!

Steve runs upstairs and hands me the card. I open the door and I don't see anyone. Silence? I run to the upstairs bathroom and the door is also locked! I am knocking and yelling and silence. I am almost ready to cry at this point, so i use the card to open this door as well. And what do I see when I open the door? Josh and Will - in the dry bathtub, with blocks and cars, playing and building and having a blast! But also...hiding from mommy! I was so happy...I was so furious? There were having such a good time. So do I punish? Well...I didn't. I had a talk with Will about the doors being locked and left it at that! How happy they were together and I didn't want to take away from the bonding that was going on!

Ben: Ben is interested in Josh just as he in interested in Will. He is more of a care taker. He watches josh and Will and makes sure they are in line. He plays with them when he is not involved in one of his important projects like his math book, or his webkinz, or his video games, or his drawing etc. etc. He is a helper in all ways and patient with everyone most of the time. He is my right hand man and when asked will tell you how happy he is that Josh lives with us now! How much he loves Josh comes easily off his tung and he is in more knowledge of where Josh was and how he came to be with us than the other two and I love seeing Ben's big heart in action!

Daddy: Daddy seems to have taken to Josh pretty quickly. He changed his first diaper yesterday - not like is has been that long, but just the same - it was a reality check for the big guy!! WE HAVE A BABY!! ha ha ha ha! He plays with Josh very well and it is very natural. Steve made comment that it is actually kind of "strange" how this little orphan boy can fit so well into our family." He said, "Renee...he even has a personality that is similar to our other kids - he is truly one of the family - so fast - I never expected this!" And so I take that as a huge check in the "All's a go" department here at the Mongold house! Once daddy is on board and in the mix....we are officially a family of 6 - crazy, fun, challenging, happy and ready to play!! :) Life is good!

STeve has fixed my bike - will put carpet on the porch, fixed lights, called the handyman, balanced the check book, did his laundry, and still finds time to take the boys to BB practice and on bike rides! Just like he never left! Of course I need to remember to buy more food when I go to the grocery store - it disappears when Steve is home? Hmm....wonder why!! :) ha ha ha But other than that - life is all up hill! And a few more min in the grocery store is well worth our whole family being together again!! :)

Now on to a nice 4 day weekend and then truly back to life without added stress of "one parent blues" and "adoption stresses"! I can get used this! Now on to planning the spring break activities, visitors, summer vacation etc. etc. I need to be planning most all the time - it is just who I am! But I certainly am glad to not be planning for anything huge and/or unknowns! On to the fun stuff. the easy stuff and the life as a mom of 4 boys! Yeah!! :) I almost feel like a chapter in my crazy book is over and the sequel will be a bit less interesting!! :) And another Yeah for that!! :) I am so looking forward to a "not that interesting" existence for a while! Feels and sounds so good!!

This video is not that clear? I think I was running out of batteries - but just the same - it will give you a preview of how well Josh plays with Kyle. Kyle takes turns pushing Josh and Will around the house every night!! :) They love it and actually are very much learning to share Kyle's attention! I love seeing the boys grow closer! sorry you have to see Josh fall! ha ha ha...he is still so clumsy!! But he gets over it quick and starts all over again! Two min is a long cry for this little man!! :) Lots of love!!

Click to play Kyle and Josh
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shunter1019 said...

So cute!!! I'm so happy to have another video fix...been TOO long! How adorable. They look so sweet playing together. Kyle can be so easy going and play whatever it is someone else wants to do, so it's not surprising that Josh has taken so well to him. It's SO awesome! Have an awesome day and sending hugs and kisses from the 4 of us!

shunter1019 said...

PS... Josh's laugh on here is priceless :)

sara said...

Phew! I'd have freaked with the door locked too! Oh, how we love to "chase" here as well! I see that Josh can say "NO" quite clearly :) I like the wipe out at the end - I am sure tough man was A-Ok!!