I remember looking at the referral pictures and being filled with so much joy! Our baby was almost home! But the other side was, "How the heck was I going to get him here???". How was I to manage 3 little boys, a trip to China, Thanksgiving and Christmas....all in a town/state that we had lived only a few months and truly knew almost NO ONE!?
I doubted myself a bit more during these months than I ever have before In my life. My emotions were on high and EVERYTHING made me feel like crying! But as life requires....I pressed on. Never giving up because my boys needed a Christmas that was fabulous and my newest baby boy needed to come home.
I could not act on my fears...I just needed to find my time to cry and then get back to the paperwork and planning! NO ROOM FOR ERROR....AND NO POSSIBILITY OF FAILURE! It was a long two months.
Now fast forward to 10 months later......
I know I am tough and all and a military wife...etc.etc....but one year ago, even my dear friends knew that I doubted myself. And truly...I think EVERYONE was a bit scared for me, but putting on a strong face because that is EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED!
And now...I have my baby boy....and I almost can't remember a time without him!
He is healthy, physically in tact, funny, silly, smart, cute, energetic, and an all around joy to be with!
I have adoption friends that I know in my heart will be a part of the rest of our lives!
Ben, Kyle and Will have a brother that they adore! (Well...Will adores him 50% of the time anyway).
I wish so much that I could have known how it all would turn out....I wish I had had more faith in my calling to find Josh and bring him home. But I am human and that is that! But the most important lesson in the last 10 months - to me .....
When I am called to do something, something that is present in every part of my being....the path may not be easy...but the end will bring hope and joy! I will forever take this with me in life! ...And I can thank Josh for so much - he is everything to us....for he will always be my reminder that anything is possible, and that following your heart......will have hurdles and back slides...but it will get you where you were meant to be! You just can't quit! :)