Thursday, January 28, 2010

Third time is a charm...but three's a crowd?

When I found out I was pregnant with Will, Steve and I joked that we were now committed to Mongold number 4! Because three is not a charm in kid is lethal! Odd numbers...someone left out...someone to pick on! Even number groups where kids can find a pair seemed the way we needed to go! (please take no offense if you have three kids...truly...we were mostly joking!!...but the conversation took place none the less)

A joke at first...and after my pregnancy with Will was so seemed that the joke was all the further that conversation would take us!

And the time surrounding Will's arrival...we of course found another way to bring our 4th MOngold to our world!

An even number....FINALLY! One year ago, we were the family that Steve and I had talked about so many years ago!

But wait? Something was wrong? Ben and Kyle could not stand Will and Will could not stand Josh and everyone wanted Mommy to play with them...because that was easier than working out the ever so present differences in age and personality within the family? NOT THE PLAN!! I silently cried for help most days by 8:30am?

A year went by...and Still...there were small glimpses of union and comradery...but as a general seemed two and on and one...was our makeup. Maybe it was Will and Kyle...and then Ben and Josh individually begging for my attention. Or maybe Ben and Kyle together and Will and Josh following me around asking me to entertain them one on one. Sometimes it was even Ben and Josh....or Kyle and Josh together. But none the less....the combinations of playmates...never assisted my two by two philosophy! And let's be honest...I truly believed my theory! And after a year...It seemed like I was just dead wrong!

Now with this said...I would not trade a one of them! Love them all more than life itself and beyond. And with 365 days of this routine...I had actually started to get used to it. Dreams of my perfect brotherly match had faded and we took on a new normal around here...apart from what I had hoped. I was now starting to live with and to appreciate what was in front of me...what I HAD.

And then.....around Christmas time...I started to see life changing once again. I saw my children become one. Two by two...but any combination of such would do! Never an outsider.....never a lone sailor. Always with company, and always playing. The fighting seemed to be only once in a while, and one day I realized that I had been cleaning the bathroom for two hours...and NO ONE...I MEAN...NO ONE...came to me to be played with? (kind of sad in a whole other way right?!!)

When I got worried and assumed that the house was burning down around me and certainly must be unaware....I headed from the bathroom and find the crew. And this is what I saw:

Room One (laughter and talking)

room two (creativity and focus)

Yep...let it be said that time heals all things. Friendship takes time. And love is something that you work on and develop!
There is a new peace in my house....and it truly only started in December! And it feels REALLY GOOD.
So the long and short...never give up on your dreams...on what you envision for yourself or your family. Go with the flow and don't worry too much about the end result. Rather - immerse yourself in the process and great things will come. Will they be exactly what you planned? Maybe not....but things will come to you!


Football & Fried Rice said...

What I am hearing from you is that I need another child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have had those thoughts about even numbers :)

And you are SO right, it all takes TIME. I am noticing differences already after we turned the one year mark.

I love seeing all your one. Perfect!

Eric said...

I see the logic of children pairing off in even numbers, but that would require us to adopt another girl and I don't think I could handle THAT! ;)

LoveBKWJ said...

Oh can do it!!! ha ha ha ha

dandsratz said...

Renee! WHAT AN AWESOME blog!!! Dave & I have had this EXACT conversation over & over....sigh.... :)