Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Josh is recovering well!

I'll tell ya...it has been one year since Josh's first surgery with us. (he had two in China) What a difference a year makes. He was so sweet to the nurses....did everything we needed him to do without any struggle. And he woke up from Anesthesia with an upset tummy....vomited a few times....and never cried! And when he felt better in his tummy...he ate 4 Popsicles and we went home. Pain blocker is in tact for about 24 hours...and after that it may get a bit more difficult, but for now...we are doing well.

My dad helped get the kids from school and took them to dinner and it was the easiest surgery day we have ever had! :) Thanks Dad!

Did the surgery work? Well...I hope so!! :) ha ha ha...You can't tell till the swelling goes down, but the hole in the pee pee was fixed and some reconstruction of the testicles took place. It is kind of swollen and black and blue down there now...but the surgeon said it went as well as he could have ever expected!

And the nurses had a field day with Josh. They kept giving him gifts to vie for his attention. He cleaned up with 4 sticker books - 3 beanie babies...and the ultimate winner was the nurse with the Micky Mouse doll!! :)

Thank you for all of the prayers and phone calls and just the love that we feel today, a day when thing are not at their easiest. Knowing that you are not alone is 98% of the battle...and I know I am NEVER alone! :)

Friday, February 19, 2010

Amazing Journey


Some of you may already know about Katie, but if not...click on the above link and read more. This amazing young girl lives in Africa (Uganda) and has 14 adopted children. Her post this week is amazing. It talks about what she knows she gave up and how hard her decision was to give it all up - in order to be a mother to these children. But she did it! I am truly in awe of this girl and her mission! She is 20 years old? I'll tell ya...I read a ton on-line....in books and magazines. But I have never read anything that has touched me more than the accounts of Katie's journey. Enjoy!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

live and learn....

Each week I have two children that I "tutor" at the elementary school that Ben and Kyle attend. These children are both boys and they are both in Kindergarten. And I will call them Bill and Sam. Both children are behind the curve and in danger of repeating Kindergarten next year.

Bill, has come to this place in his life because he is in a bad home environment. No mom, living in a homeless shelter, just a total lack of consistency and support from the family in his educational arena. When I work with Bill I am amazed at how quickly he can learn. He has the mental strength to get on track, and time, love and encouragement are his prescription for success. It is a very rewarding time each week that I spend with Bill.

Now Sam. A very different story. Very rewarding...don't get me wrong...just a different experience. Sam has a loving home - not as privileged as most of our kids have, but love and support just the same. Sam is slow? Not sure what that word means exactly, but there is no other diagnosis such as autism, or ADHD, or birth defects etc. etc. He is just a slow learner. His mind has a very hard time retaining information. His charisma - OFF THE CHARTS! So much so that he was passed by for state funding. A and B don't match in this kid. He has so much heart....

So each week I sit with Sam and we work on his letter sounds. We go over then and over them...we take a break from the "F" sound and read a short story...and by the time we get back to the "F" sound - just a few minutes later - he can't remember the sound, nor can he recognize the letter. And the look of disappointment on his face just makes me want to hug him and cry. He knows...the he does not KNOW? If that makes sense.

But Sam...has personality, and compassion for his friends...the desire to make people smile....and...an amazing ability to control a pencil? Amazing. He can copy - with perfection - anything that I write or draw for him. The artistic side of his brain is in full swing.

When talking to his teacher the other day she said to me, "Sam will be ok...he will hold a job and lead an independent life one day. And that is our hope for him." And truly...it took me back, but in truth....that is a perfect hope for Sam. He will struggle to achieve this kind of independent life...but he will succeed because of his heart. And what is more...he possesses a talent...a talent that rings loud and clear due to his lack of strength in other areas...and that talent may just take him above and beyond the realistic hopes that are held for his life!!

And so I come to the point of my story...not that the lives of these two little men are not point enough...but this all comes full circle in my mind to what I am doing in my own life...with my own children.

Two things that I take from my experience as a tutor to these wonderful boys.

First....The goal we hold for each child - can not be the same. I can't go through life looking at all four of my boys and expecting college, med school....and stardom. I can hope for happiness...and a full life...but what each child can and will accomplish...I need to be realistic, accept their differences, and set my hopes for them in line with who they are and what they are capable of.

I need to accept different strengths and different areas of weakness and as hard as it is when 4 people need from you at all times...I need to tailor the way I react to them and the leverage that I use on them...and even the chores and work that I set forth for them...on WHO THEY ARE. Individually - who THEY Are....Ben, Kyle, Will and Josh....the individual.

And second...and maybe even more important....I need to look at the areas that they struggle with and do my best to assist them in growing this knowledge...but at the same time, being careful not to bully them into "learning" it the "right way" ...right away. Rather, I need to look at the areas that come easier...that bring joy...and I NEED to assist them in these areas EVEN more - so that they can find their greatness.

it is almost easier to find these areas of greatness when child is so low on the curve in most areas. Their strength...Sam's strength in his art....is easy to see. A bright light in a dark tunnel. But when child is average or above in all areas....the tunnel is not as dark and the light not as bright.

So for my boys I am committed to helping them in the areas that they are weak. To knocking down the walls that make them feel less than adequate. Will - WILL learn to write his letters better. But more importantly in many ways... I also see an imagination in that boy that surpasses all of my other children. So we may spend 15 min of our hour together on writing and then the other 45 min writing a story together that we can read to his brothers. A story about the man that blasts off to mars with bananas in his backpack, and a potato gun in his hand?

And with Kyle, I will work on his reading for 15 min....he is above average there anyway, bu that is the main focus at school....andthen I will work on reading stories to him and talking about how it might end....we can analyze the books and think of other possible scenarios. That is his favorite thing to do, and it is not often in his life that he can interrupt a story to dig deeper. His reasoning skill are his strength and elementary school does not give much chance to really explore this passion.

And for Ben, He can do his homework quickly....and then I will let him draw his comic strips and write stories about them. He loves to draw and create characters. This is his current talent and it is so interesting to watch his books grow! He needs time to do this...even if he is not remembering that 4:45 and quarter to 5 are the same thing. That will come...but I will not push him to the wall on it. I will let him explore his passions with me there to support each day!

And Josh...well....Josh is just finding his way, so I have been putting him in his room for his hour of work and giving him markers, blocks, games and books. And I lay them in centers. And I watch where he gravitates each day. I will work with him to find his passion. And accept that right now...it is just exploring the world.

I find that many days, I WAS working with my kids as a unit....all with the same schedules and goals...and truly...that will probably still be necessary on some days...lots of kids...only one parent!! ha ha ha ha.....but It is my commitment to them to remember each day who my kids are individually and to help them to grow in the areas that they have natural greatness!!

I'll keep you posted!! :) And I will forever be grateful for all that my little "tutorees" have added to my life!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Times they are a changin'

This week has been interesting here at the Mongold house. Many of you know that Steve interviewed recently for a job working with an admiral in norfolk, VA. Getting this job would not only be a great career move for Steve, but also a large personal accomplishment. (no...their is no pay raise...I guess status is all you get in the military so you learn to strive for it despite that fact!) The other side of the coin is...if Steve got this job, then we would be - for certain - headed back to Chesapeake to live this coming June. Hmmmm....no pressure or anything daddy???

IN addition to waiting on the news of Steve's job possibilities this week, daddy is also deploying for a while.

Anxiety, anticipation, dread, excitement, sadness....who the heck knows how we are all feeling around her. Everyone with a different mindset, yet all in a place of turmoil. Somehow...we all lived through this crazy week and now we have the following to report:

Steve was offered the job in Norfolk, and he accepted. We will head out of beautiful Fernandina in June and head back to our home in Chesapeake in mid July! And well...daddy still deployed? But with such closure on what the future holds for us, I think that makes it all seem just a little bit better.

I swear that I can handle anything as long as I have information. This lack of info and our undecided future is not easy for my personality. And I will rest easier knowing that we have a plan. And truly - a good one!! :)

We will miss our life here on Amelia Island. So many wonderful friends, the beauty of the surroundings, the easy of this little town, the schools that we have grown to love.....we will miss it all and tears will flow as we pull away.

Kyle is the saddest...well...maybe Ben? Who knows...they have made so many good friends and they have such full lives. They feel torn about the future. Glad to be going home...but a fear of leaving a life that has been so good to them!

I have promised them...and myself...that it is not goodbye to Amelia Island...just - see you soon - as we will visit and keep in touch with our dear friends! And well...Chesapeake - Hampton Rhodes - was home to the Mongolds for so very long. Over 15 years! And so there is something so welcoming about knowing we will be back home! I feel very peaceful knowing that we will be back on Larkspur lane with our awesome neighbors....and able to easily drive to see the best part of our lives - our FAMILY!! :)

It's a sad week in a short term kind of way, as we never like to say goodbye to daddy! But we are darn proud of him for landing this job, and so very in awe of his constant ability to provide for his family and to move us in such great directions! He is amazing! We will miss you babe, but we all thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all you do for us.

Let the planning begin? Movers? Packers? Cleaning crews? Logistics? Va Medical forms, school enfollment.....ha ha ha...didn't we just do this! :) Yeah..well...I won't complain because Hawaii was next on the slate for us and a very possible second option. And let's face it. Beautiful place...NOT close to our family!

So that's the news! It is official. Orders are written. Could it change? Well...always a chance when you are in the military. But most likely...NO...we are set and on our way to the next phase of life! :)

This move for me: This move for me is kind of strange? We moved to CT and I was 8 months pregnant, so I knew that Kyle would be born there. When we moved to Chesapeake I bought a business and a house, had a baby and started an adoption process. When we left Chesapeake, I sold a business, and prepared for Mongold number 4. While living here on Amelia Island we welcomed our new baby into our lives. And now...WHAT? Easy street I guess (shell...I am knocking on wood right now!). NO house to buy, so house to sell, so kids to have, no business owned, just packing and unpacking? I already feel a little BORED? What should we do next? Need suggestions!!! ha ha ha