2 years ago we went to Florida kicking and screaming. We loved our life here in VA, our proximity to friends and family, our house, and our friends! But with a strong spirit and a bit of a broken heart, we hit the road and headed south!
We were not on Amelia Island but a few days when I realized that it was a special place, a comfortable place. A place where Karma was good and a body could relax and enjoy the small things in life! The small town Mayberry feel made for great family memories, sweet and dear friends, and a renewed love of the outdoors and nature!
Alas, two years passed, and the time to move again was upon us. After months of waiting to find out the where of it all...hints of this place or that....but nothing in stone - we found out that we would be moving back to the home we loved so very much!
It has been a confusing move. Not the typical...get up and go...start over....make a new life....kind of move. The feelings that I have at this time are different from anything I have experienced in life so far. We have had such support from friends here in VA and have been so warmly welcomed back! At times I felt like I could cry the good tears for how lucky we are to have such wonderful people in our lives!
But the emotions inside of me are none the less present and strange. I'm sad, excited, cautious, nervous, at peace and truly feel like I am spinning a bit more than I would normally spin. I have been lucky, as a military wife and mother, to have a pretty laid back personality. Take it as it comes....comes easy to me. Change is never easy, but I embrace it for all of the good and bad that it brings and always learn so much for the experience. Today as I sit here in my house...all unpacked and just as I would want it...with my kids downstairs playing with super friends and awesome kids.....I just don't feel settled? Kind of like a rock in my chest.
And the funny part is...I am not sure why? Anxiety gets us all from time to time, but for me it never lasts. It is a fleeting moment of twirl and then it nicely spins away and I go on with my day. But for the last two weeks, it has stayed with me at every turn.
In typical fashion, I write to just tell the truth of it all as it exists in my head. Share experience and accept advice or stories of anyone that might be able to relate to this weird place I am in.
What I am 100% sure of....is that it will end. Little by little I will figure out what my new life in my old world will have in store for me. And whatever that is....I'll love it. I'll search for my purpose in this community and for my drive to do more in the world. I'll search for a comfortable place for both myself and my family! I won't quit till I get there and I will approach it all with patience and understanding. I do understand that I am in uncharted waters for me and that I am an old dog!! :) But this old dog CAN learn new tricks! Heck...I think we have finally taught Cali to fetch and she is 8! :) I'll use her as strength when I need it!! :)
And to anyone that has or will find themselves in this kind of strange, but happy and exciting place inside - I'll write again on this in a month or two to see where it all takes me! :)