Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Some days I wonder?

Some days I wonder? Why did all 13 kids on the block get on that school bus today...but my child was laying on the ground crying...as I threatened to pick him up and carry him on if he did not stand up and walk? Why did all of those children have the ability to walk forward - despite the nerves that they all had inside....and why does fear paralyze my poor Ben.

Funny note...I posted on face book that Ben had a hard time getting on the bus this morning and I had many encouraging comments and wishes of luck and love sent my way! But at least 5 people - who are not in our present bubble of life - friends from college days and what not - told me that "Kindergarten can be hard for many children...just be positive...it will all work out in time?

Well...I understand what they are saying....Kindergarten CAN be hard and scary? But BEN IS GOING INTO THE THIRD GRADE!! And what is more...we go through this ever year for school, every baseball season....every birthday party where we don't know the people that well....etc. etc.

The one thing I will say, is that it would be easier to just drive him to school and walk him in. Or to let him just forgo sports and parties. But I do not! Because I KNOW in my heart that this anxiety...leads to growth...and growth leads to a day where he can conquer his fears...or at least manage them.

He said no to baseball and so I took him kicking and screaming each year for three years...and now he is an avid player and can't wait for the game to start!! The teacher he cried for last year - for two weeks - ended up being his favorite teacher of all time and he met two of his best buddies in that class! He cried through the first year of scouts...and now he wants to go door to door and sell popcorn IMMEDIATELY so that he can earn his patch and he is already talking about the October camp out!

I know I need to push. Some days...the days we all have...when we search a bit harder for our purpose on this earth...our reason to push on....I think: Ben is here to do something very special....his big brain and his sensitive heart are going to make the world a better place one day. And I was put here to stretch him...push him...and love him no matter what the day brings!

I accept this job...and I love that BEN - so much that i swear it hurts my heart worse than his when he has to get on the school bus with tears streaming down his face! I love him...and I will push him...with love...and with strength!

I am sure when I stated sternly this morning, 'Get on that bus or I will carry you on there over my shoulder in front of all these people,"....that some adults may have found me harsh or callus or even thought that my attitude towards him was part of his problem. And there is nothing you can do when you have a Ben...but allow for criticism...and skepticism. All you can do is know in your heart...who your child is...and what you need to do for him or her to get them down the road of life in the best and most successful way that you can!

I love you Ben. I hate being hard or mean...and I melt when you cry! But your big brain and soft heart will take you great places. Won't be easy being a kids....but you won't be a kid for long. Much to my dismay I might add! I'm here for you through thick and thin......and I'll help you to get where you need to go! That is a mom's promise! Once we all give to our dear babies!! :)

To anyone that has a child that needs that extra...that needs more than extra some days - join me in frustration and commitment! Together...they..we can do anything!!

SIDE NOTE: Kyle got on the bust this morning....looking scared to death...and looking so sad for his brother. Be he got on there. He knew that I needed to tend to Ben and to push Ben. He knew it was his time to be a big boy and just go forward! So proud of you Kyle!! You are my rock star!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Another first....under our belt!

This is Ben and Kyle on the first day of Kindergarten and second grade in Florida.

This is my Ben...before his first day of Kindergarten in 2007!

And now here we are...in 2010...time for a new year once again. Ben is back at Cedar Road where he did his half day kindergarten a few years back. So at least there is some familiarity to it all for Ben. But for everyone else...once again.... a new school. Kyle will be in first grade. Will will attend private Kindergarten at a new school in Chesapeake, and Josh will join his brother in the 3 to 4 year old preschool program at the same school. We have yet to visit Great Bridge Preschool and Kindergarten. Next week is our time for that. The little two start on the 13th of this month, so they have a bit longer to wait!

Yesterday we went to the teacher meet and greet at Cedar Road Elementary. We went with Gusto...very excited to meet our new teachers. Gusto that lasted, of course, until we were about 3 feet from the door of the school and I look over and Ben has tears in his eyes and Kyle looks like he is going to throw up? Yikes.

So we step aside....take a min. to pull ourselves together and have a quick game of rock paper scissors to see who will meet their teacher first. Well...as luck would have it....Ben was the loser...but he insisted that Kyle cheated...waiting that last second to make his play after he already knew what Ben was going to choose! And so with Ben now crying because Kyle cheated (or at least that is his story of the reason for the tears) and Kyle crying because Ben said he cheated....we stand...out side the school...trying not to draw attention, and trying to dry faces....and hundreds of people are rushing passed us to get inside.

We get the tears to stop and try the "Pick a number between one and 10" game to assure a fair strategy for picking where we go first. And of course...Ben loses AGAIN?

We talk as we walk and I think we have ourselves under control...of course that is until we get to Ben's room and his teachers starts speaking to him. He looks away....wipes his eyes...and states, "I think I have something in my eye." Oh poor boy. His anxiety was so high and he just could not stop the tears. The same as his kindergarten year...but with one big difference. Now he does not want to cry...he hates that the tears come so quickly...and he is embarrassed and making excuses for those little buggers that come out of his eyes so easy!

Well...we make a quick stop of it...to help Ben out of his disparate place. And not 3 min outside of the classroom Ben states..."I love that teacher mom..I think I will like her as much as Mrs. Brussard!" So all is well that ends well....I suppose?

And Kyle ...now we head down to Kyle room. Please note that I have bribed my children. $5/child if they look the teacher in the eye....state their first and last name....and say that it is nice to meet you! That's all they have to do. I have learned that my children need ways to create their own confidence. Just telling they that they are great is so far from enough. I was paying them to have a positive first experience with their teachers so that they could go into the first day of school feeling that they are liked and that they have a great first impression for themselves under their belts!

Ben of course was unable to complete the task, but seriously...watching him struggle...made me almost cry! I might give him $20.00 just for keeping it as together as he did and getting out of there alive!

So Kyle is an observer and he has been silent and obedient and has taken all of the past events into his brain and is processing as we walk to his classroom. WE get there and the awkwardness starts to creep into kyle's walk and his body language. But no tears. The teacher nicely walks up to him and Kyle....who is almost as big as his teacher (no joke!) says, "hi my name is kyle nice to meet you!". Now he has made his cash...but you have to know that the presentation was nothing that I expected. Kyle's voice was soprano...so high that most little girls cant' reach this octave. And he talked in baby talk...like sitcom kind of baby talk. And in his efforts to keep his eyes focused on his teacher - since that was part of the deal....he was blinking....incessantly. I mean...like he had a tick or something?!?!

OH so funny...but what do you do...that's Kyle...and the guy with something in his eye...well that's Ben! Now they know the Mongolds! Both of these nice teachers!! And in the first weeks they will see how sweet both boys are and I am sure they will both grow to have a mutual friendship with their educators!!

But for now....I am certain that when these teachers got home and were telling their hubby's about the day of new students. It is very possible that Kyle and Ben were BOTH stories that were note worthy!! :) ha ha ha

Another first day next week!! With that first meet out of the way..I have all the confidence in the world that Ben and Kyle will both go to school willingly and have great stories to share when they get home! And next week..Josh and Will meet their teachers? Hmm...wonder if it will be as interesting!! :)