Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Life lesson number 2002

Kyle decided this year that he wanted to make his own costume. He needed a large sheet and scissors and a sharpie marker. He wanted to be a home made ghost. And he was.

He was so proud! I explained that I should probably hem it up a bit so he did not trip. And he said..."No mom...I want it to drag on the ground. Ghosts drag and they don't have feet. I need to hide my feet!

I told him we should maybe find a way to keep it one place on his face so that he could see. He said...no mom...ghosts don't wear hats or necklaces?!

And so I warned him of the possible hurdles of being a ghost, and he told me he understood what I was saying...but that none of it mattered. I even offered to buy a ghost costume at the store that might hold up a bit better. He did not care...he was being a ghost! And he was being a ghost HIS WAY.

As you can tell by the below photos...it all started out great!! He was so happy and proud. When he tripped....he just stood back up. When he could not see...he simply adjusted the garb!

....and then....

The dreaded event. Not a hurdle that I even anticipated?

His friend...our neighbor (but not somone that he had seen this night before now)...walked up to Kyle (after we had hit but three houses for candy...and had the whole neighborhood left to loot)...and said, "Kyle that is the dumbest costume I have ever seen!"

Oh man...it went from great to terrible in a matter of three seconds.

I think had Kyle just worn a purchased costume, or one that I had made for him, he would have taken this comment in stride. Valued difference of opinion and kept on the quest for candy. But that was not the case. More than ever, a boy who went out there on a limb....embraced different and uniqueness.... needed positive affirmation from the masses. This little boy is his friend, and KYle CARED about his opinion.

Our friends at the Halloween party could not say enough about how great his costume was! He was on cloud nine up to this moment! But a fragile ego mixed with a not so nice comment ended his night just the same.

He quit trick or treating. He walked home. He took off his costume and I found it laying on the floor by the trash can inside the house. We tried talking to him, we tried convincing him...but nothing. He was done. Broke our hearts. Steve got him to stop at a few random houses on the way home just to get a bit of candy...but even that was a struggle. (He got all that was left in our own basket at the end of the night and somehow has more candy than all the other three? Hmmmm..) But just the same, it was a sad lesson to learn from a creative gesture and independent ideas.

The fact that it was beside the trash can and not IN the trash can tells me that he was not quite sold on the failure. Or that he was afraid to throw it away for fear I would yell at him for throwing away a perfectly good costume? Who knows. I'll go with the first thought!!


This is our ghost!
Photo taken in the back yard with friends before we started our trick or treating festivities!

Ben and Kyle...looking scary and happy!

This was Kyle leaving the driveway of our neighbors house. Just one house into the night...before the comment was made.

More pics of whole crew!





Sorry Kyle that you had to learn about disappointment. You learned that sometimes no matter how hard we try and how good our ideas may be...there will always be someone that will see it differently. But what I do hope for Kyle...in the end...once he can get some distance from the situation and see it more clearly - is that he learns that individuality is key, taking comfort in our own ideas and believing in them is all we have, and other peoples opinions are just not always shared by the masses! You did good buddy...keep on doing your own thing!! Your own thing - ROCKS!











3 comments:

Eric said...

Bah! His creativity will come in handy when he gets to college and has to come up with a last minute costume from dorm room items. I once covered my face in pink makeup and tied a shoe to my head and said I was spit out bubble gum!

For the record, the Smiths are heading for Norfolk this Friday and staying for a week to visit family and friends. I assume Angela will be trying to get in touch with you soon to see if we can have another mini-reunion while in town.

Football and Fried Rice said...

I think it is precious that Kyle wanted to do his own thing! I have compassion for him getting crushed by a buddy - I am sure he didn't mean to crush him! And hey! Candy is candy!!

Really, Eric - spit out bubble gum? You KNOW that's what my kids are going to be next year for Halloween :)

Mary said...

Kyle was absolutely the best looking ghost I have ever seen! Sweet sweet boy. Don't worry, he will get some more candy at Hannah Beth's bday party this weekend.