Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A year in the life of Will Mongold.....

Since it is my blog...I can say anything I want right? Well...Will Mongold is a huge pain in the bum! I mean...that kid is work from the moment he opens his eyes in the morning till fights me to go to bed at night! But he fun! :) Always expect the unexpected! I was kind of enjoying being home alone today....or should I say being home without Will yelling at me to help him, find something, telling him no don't put shampoo in your chocolate will get sick!! ha haha....but I must miss him in a crazy way because I just spent the last 30 min looking back at the crazy photos I have of him this past year! Here it is...a year in the life of Will! :) I love you buddy!

For the record...he was in the most beautiful place...we were enjoying the rocks and water and all the nature that surrounded us. And he yells to me from across the at me...I'm peeing! :) hmmm....

I went inside for 30 seconds to get more towels. When I came back out he was naked on the slip n slide and had talked JOsh into getting naked with him?

Only nice to Josh because his treat was already gone! And God Love JOSH! He never says no to his hero Will!

Even the ice creme truck is no match for Will's curiosity!

So kind when he wants to be..and when he thinks no one is looking!

Brave and always looking for the next extreme event!




Happy 4th Birthday Josh!!!

Thanks to Sue grabbing my camera...we actually have photos of this fun day! :) Josh turned 4 on Friday. We had kind of a make shift party. I had nothing planned and then 4 of my wonderful friends said.....what do you mean you are not having a party....YES WE ARE!!:) And so it became....Josh's after school 4th birthday party! Some of my favorite people in the world and my kids favorite people as well. lucky are we!:) It was a blast!

Something about the lack of pressure in a make shift party that can truly make it more fun than the ones you plan for weeks!! Josh loved being sung to, he played so hard that he fell asleep that night at 6:30....without even telling me he was going to bed! :)

Ah yes...the twins? Probably discussing the nutritional value of cake! Mary...are you sure Will is not yours???!!! :)

what's a formal dining room for.....14 kids...that's what!! :)

Ah yes...Josh can be ready to jump off a cliff...but Madeline can turn him into a sweet, happy boy with just one smile!!!!

JOsh sang to himself , "Happy birthday to meee....eeeee" It was hilarious. And Becky and I held Will back from blowing out the candles "for" Josh! Good team work Beck!! :)

Yeah.....Sue had to take several pictures of us to get one where my eyes were open!! ha ha ha....why does the camera hate me so!:) But I am so happy to have this memory of our fun day with my littlest baby!

And Party number two, a bit smaller and with mostly adults...but no less memorable for our little man! :) He had a blast with Nana, Grandpa, Uncle Brian and PopPop! All in all...a special day for Joshua Song! Cards and present from afar, people he loves, cake and ice creme, parties - an amazing memory for all of us!

Mom....I'm just a first grader....booo hooooo

My sweet and silly big man!

Only one grade between them? How can that be?

So Kyle. My easiest child in many way, and when he chooses to be - he is my most difficult. He has the will of a politician. Never willing to give an inch on his point of view. Most times we align, but when we don't...look out. Last man standing will be the winner and I swear lately...I am having to fight to stay upright.
AS most of you know...I would have sent him to Kindergarten...even with his birthday just 8 days from the cut off. Because...well...he is Kyle. He has always been bigger than his peers, he is a calm boy, he has a mature spirit most of the time and he has always been a bit older in his body and mind than his brithday tells us.
But of course, with the florida cut off for Kindergarten being early, that was not to be and so our only acedemic struggle with KYle has been....paying attention and not doing sloppy work. He is bored, not engaged and just sits in class pumping out correct, but sloppy work and then drawing comic strips in his free time. Terribly frustrating for a parent...but it is where we are!

So this takes me to last night. Kyle has all A's on his report card, except one. luck would have it. Neatness is a REAL GRADE in the Chesapeake School system. And so there ya have it. Finally...he sees a GRADE that reflects his slacker attitude! But that is still not enough to get him to engage in school.

Kyle is working on his homework. The a story about a lost bear and then write a story about how the boy helped the bear find his way home. The paper given to us for the assignment has only a few lines on it can't be all that lengthy.
We agree on 5 sentences. I ask him what his first sentence will be...and he just stares at me. A look of defiance...I'm not doing is stupid - written all over his face. And so in the effort of just getting it done I tell him I will come up with the first sentence and he can go from there. I come up with the sentence and he starts writing. It was terrible.
He makes a capital T for The and then the letter N for the next work is 3 times taller than the capital T...has no line in it and looks more like Mount Everest than a letter in the American alphabet. And this continues...finally..I had enough. I look at him and ask, " this your best writing?" He does not speak...just looks down with a mean and uncooperative look on his face. And so I take another pencil...turn it over and begin erasing what he had just written. The whole sentence.
With this he starts to cry and screams, "You are the worst mom every...I am just a first grader and you expect me to be perfect..I'm only in first grade and I can't write as good as a third grader! You think I am a third grader and I am not...I'm ONLY in the first grade!"

Well...I pause....think for a min...but I am pissed! 4 kids, three with a bunch of homework, baseball in an hour, josh in his underwear and unfed....I am seriously pissed! So I stand up...take the chair I was sitting on and slam it into the table and I say..without yelling...Kyle...up to mommy computer - NOW.

I pull up word and say to KYle. Ok...I hear you. You are only in first grade and you want to do only first grade work. Right? He says, "Yes...that's all I can do!" With this poor mom is buying into this so I have to lay it on thick voice!!

So I title my list. Rules for First Graders:
I explain to him that Ben was in first grade once and had different rules than him because he was a different kid. He did not make such good decision as Kyle, he was not a big, or mature as Kyle in first grade and he had different rules. I also added that Will would be in first grade next year and I believed that he would have different rules than Kyle did now based on similar things.

Kyle is quiet and just staring at the computer screen. Crying he just looks scared.

I proceed with Rule 1.) No playing outside without an adult being present.

He say, "What?? That's not fair". I explain that most first graders who are only 6 and are boys do not always make great decisions and it is dangerous to let them play outside with cars and other people without watching them. I tell him that He, "Kyle" has always been a child to make good decisions and and have always trusted him outside because of who he is...but if he wants to be treated like a first grader and not treated like "Kyle" that this rule now applied. (Please if you have a first grader...know that I really don't think many of these things to be true...I was just making a point!!)

Rule 2. You may not play any T video games. I explained that I don't let will play them and I will not let him next year either. And that Ben did not play them in first grade. So...that rule will stand. NOW HE IS MAD! I went on to say that Kyle was my best child when it came to seeing something on a video game that was not real, and understanding that there was a difference between what we play on the TV and what we do outside with our friends. That was different than most first graders, but I allowed him to play those games because of who "he" was...not based on his grade. But now that would change.

Rule 3. 7:30 bed time. In first grade Ben went to bed at 7:30 and Will will continue to go to bed at 7:30 next year in the first grade. I said that I always let him stay up later because he was just bigger and older than his brothers at this grade and he was fine to stay up later. But since he wanted to be treated like any other first grader, without taking into consideration what kind of a boy "he" was..then this rule would also stand.

This went on with 7 other rules. The list was 10 long. He cried the whole type I typed...but never interrupted.

When I was done I printed it and handed it to him. Then I stood up and went about getting everyone ready for baseball. He is following me around saying that he wanted to finish his homework and he would write neater. I politely told him I did not have time now...we had to get ready and go. I was mad at him for being so rude to me and we would talk after baseball.

I drop he and Ben off and head to the other field for t-ball. Steve gets off work a bit early and ends up being able to pick up Ben and Kyle from their practice. Steve gets home with the boys and says, "Wow...what did you do to Kyle...he is telling me you are the meanest mommy Ever and that he wants to run away and that If I knew what you did to him I would not like you either?"

I tell Steve about Mt. Everest, about his refusal to do his work, about the things he yelled at me and about his desire to be treated as a first grader. I then handed Steve my copy of the list of new rules. Well seriously ...the look on Steve's face was priceless. I know he thinks I have lost it...but he can't argue my method was deserved and creative! ha ha ha

Kyle sees me give this list to Steve and he runs to his room. I proceed to get the boys showers, snacks, PJ's etc. I get Josh and Will in Bed. I look into Kyle's room and he is still boo hooing like he just lost his best friend on the couch and Steve is trying to talk him off the fence. Now I say, "lost his best friend" for a reason, because for Kyle...I am, hands down, his best friend. And he can't STAND when I am mad at him. I ask Steve to leave and I will handle it. Steve says, "I really don't think he will talk to you?" And I just smile and sit down.

WE had along talk about what each person is capable of. And about how it is a parents job to push their children to do their best. Not to be BETTER than another person..just to do what they can in the best way that "they can".

I explained that parent are in control, and as children grow up and make good decisions and do good work, they are able to take certain part of their life and begin being in control of themselves. And before you know are an adult and in control of it all. But that happens little by little and it is only with good decisions and hard work that we get there.

He did agree that he was not doing his best work. He stopped crying and was engaged in the conversation. And at some point he goes over to his bed and gets the list. He brings it to me. He says, "I know I am not doing my best work and I don't want to be treated like a first grader." So I took the list and tore it up. We agreed that we would work together to do our best and that one day soon, the younger kids in Kyles class would catch up and school would not be so easy. And that working hard today on things like neatness will help him to be ready for that time.

We will see.......I'll keep you posted. Poor Kyle. A little boy that is so torn between growing up and staying little. You can just see the turmoil in his face. I don't think he want to be treated as "a first grader"...I think he sees that he is growing and taking more control of his own self and that scares him. He is afraid that with that growing comes distance from being cared for by his mother! I vowed to do better at showing him that I am always here....and I am just as in love with matter how big and strong and smart he got!